I didn’t grow up in a Christian home. In fact, my mother rarely went to the Baptist church on the corner of our street. I rebelled early and ended up joining several cults.
But, somehow, I knew something was wrong with my life yet I couldn’t put my finger on it. I suffered a lot with low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and fear.
I was 25 years old when I turned my life to Jesus. It was a long process for me and everyday was a new day full of joy that nothing I had tried in this world could ever give me. My mom watched how I began to change and that it wasn’t a fad. It was a real experience with my Savior and it moved her to give her life to Jesus and find real peace also.
I married my first husband at age 27 and I was so blessed that he loved The Lord so much. Unfortunately, He would go home to be with Jesus that same year. It was bittersweet, I was happy he wasn’t suffering anymore and that he was with Jesus. But I was distraught on earth and that’s when my life took a turn for the worse.
I couldn’t deal with the pain I felt and I got so angry with God that I left everything and everyone connected with Jesus and the church. I went back to my days of partying and self destruction. And for 11 more years, I was living a nightmare full of demonic activity and my mind was gone. I ended up with more problems than before I was saved.
Out of the Darkness
It was one day after partying all night that I looked in the mirror and saw it… the ravaging lines in my face from the torment, fear, anger and aging. I couldn’t go on living like this anymore but I didn’t know what to do. Throughout my whole time backslidden, I couldn’t forget God nor the bible verses that I had studied for years. I remembered hearing His voice and now it was just darkness. I cried that day like I never cried and then I heard His sweet voice tell me, “give me your anger”.
That was the first prayer in 11 years that I prayed and yes I broke down all my feelings of losing my husband and how unfair it was to take him after being married only 7 months. I began slowly to feel better, to get to the point of acceptance that for whatever reason God called him home. When I accepted it, I could remember the good times I had with my husband. And, I could leave behind my old lifestyle forever.
I re-dedicated my life to Jesus right then and He began the slow process of piecing my life back together again.
I met my second husband, Ken, in 2000 and we married in 2001. He loves Jesus with all his heart and it was him who pushed me to write my autobiography, “Out of the Darkness”. I needed closure from my past and once I wrote the book, I felt a peace that I could actually walk away and not look back.
What Do I Believe?
- I believe Jesus is God as the Bible says in 1 John 5:7, “for there are three that bear record in Heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost and these three are one.” Jesus said in John 10:30: “I and the Father are One.” I can’t explain the Godhead, there are some things are beyond our comprehension.
- I trust the Bible and I believe that the only way to The Father is through Jesus.
- I believe in baptism through immersion in the name of Jesus Christ (Acts 2:38).
- I believe all have sinned and come short of the glory of God and it’s only through Jesus that we can be saved.
- I believe God sent Jesus Christ to die for our sins and make a way for us to be saved and go to Heaven.
My faith is what shapes me, it changes me to be what God always intended me to be. It’s not an easy life and I won’t kid you on that if you haven’t surrendered your life to Jesus. What I can tell you is that He will come in and help you. He will fill you with His Holy Spirit and begin to work on your emotions and your life in a way no one else can.
You’ll learn about your gifts and how to use them for His glory, He’ll fill that empty void that nothing else can. If you have addictions to things like alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, sex, money, fame, whatever… it doesn’t matter, He will heal you. You only have to submit to Him.
If you’re reading this and you haven’t yet made Jesus your Savior and Lord, don’t delay. Ask Him into your heart now. He will never turn away a sincere heart. Jesus said He would never leave nor forsake us. And He never breaks His promises. Let Him into your life today.
And, I invite you to follow “GUIG” and join me on this Amazing Journey to grow closer to Jesus learning and experiencing more and more about His Amazing Grace.