Every time I think we’re getting closer to our dreams, something knocks us back. I’m getting to close to age 60 and there’s not much more I desire of this world. That’s not a dismal outlook, it’s just that I’ve done a lot, seen a lot and the more I live, the more I long for God’s kingdom.
Hubby and I have a couple of desires; (1) to own a home; and (2) to retire without any more financial worries. Since and even before we met, we both struggled financially. And we made many foolish mistakes. If I could have given my younger self a wise piece of advice, I would say don’t waste time.
When you’re young, it seems you have all the time in the world but in fact, we don’t have very much time at all and because it moves fast, you can blink one minute at age 16, blink again and you’re 56 years old and you wonder what happened to all that time.
This is a raw post, I must say because my mindset tonight is between feeling upset and feeling hopeless. My prayer is that after a good night sleep, maybe tomorrow will turn out better. If you’re reading this and wondering what is wrong, the short story is we have once again about depleted our savings account for the 6th time.
We get $$, we save it, we have to spend it. This time it’s the truck breaking down and now we have to seriously replace it. I had hoped this money would be a down payment on a home but we’ll have to begin again for that.
We prayed after getting the truck out of the shop today and we thanked God for allowing us to have a way to get it repaired. And, I am very thankful for that. It’s our only transportation to handle our businesses and personal errands. Yet, at the same time I’m sad…mentally tired.
Long time ago in prayer, I sensed The Lord telling me to “let go“. Meaning for me to quit worrying about everything, especially things I can’t control. He said, “rest”. And truth is, there’s very little in this world that I can control.
It is what it is, maybe we’re meant to struggle, maybe we’re not meant to have a whole lot in life. Maybe we wouldn’t know how to handle riches. I don’t know. But Romans 8:28 keeps popping in my mind…
“All things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are The called according to His purpose.”
God said, “all things work together for good…” not most, not some, or maybe. He said “all“. It’s a verse that I’m leaning hard on because I don’t know what tomorrow brings. I don’t know what would happen if I turned the corner. But He does.
And trusting Him doesn’t mean everyday is going to be a cakewalk. In fact, most days, it’s not. In the end, it’ll all make sense and I’ll be happy I followed Jesus even when I’m cornered, or led somewhere I don’t understand. All I have to do is “let go“.