A friend of mine sent a poem who was grief stricken over the loss of a loved one. You know this is close to my heart, because I lost my first spouse. And I often wondered would the light shine again tomorrow for me. It did and it does I’m happy to say.
The Man I Loved
The man I loved just passed away
He’s now in Heaven, I pray
I loved this man named “Nicki” with all my heart
I really was sad when we had to part
Now, I can’t feel him in my arms anymore
He’s gone over to the other shore
He was so very good to me
There is no other, that good could be
I see his smiling face each day
Then I lift my head towards Heaven and pray
Many tears flow down my face
When I think of his warm embrace
I cry out; I miss and love you very much
I miss your wonderful touch
I will always love you until the day I die
Until we meet in the sweet by-and-by
Oh, how my heart does cry
When I remember the words “I love your little blue eyes”
Oh, how my heart aches deep within
I wonder, “will I ever feel the same again”!
~ Beverly Decker
This sweet poem reminds me of the pain I felt the very next day after Shron died and all the subsequent months thereafter. I actually thought I’d never love another man again. But, life goes on and God always has other plans. He knows our hearts and that’s what so lovely about Him. He understands the tears we fill our pillows with. He’s not insensitive to us in any way.
He also understands that we all grieve differently. It takes some of us a short time and others a very long time to go on with our lives. Yet, no matter how long you feel sadness, Jesus will be there. No matter how much pain you feel, He has felt it too. When you stretch out your arms and ask God to help you live on, He will. At times, He might have to pick you up. Sometimes, you’ll go through the motions of everyday life. You might feel like a statute in a museum. You might feel pitiful and wonder “why me?” You may not feel anything, but numbness. This is all normal. You might feel angry that he or she died. You might even get mad at God. Still all this is normal. The Lord won’t be angry at you, because you feel these emotions. Just don’t let these feelings control you.
I can’t tell you that there’s a magical formula that you can take and all the pain will be gone forever. There’s no such thing. Getting over losing loved ones is a process. But, like with everything else, if we invite Jesus into the process, He will make it easier for us. He will walk alongside us everyday. Make time for Him in prayer or read a scripture. Be with good friends and family who uplift you. Don’t stop going to church functions. The worst thing you can do at a time like this is to be alone.
I began to heal when I incorporated fun things in my life like: walking in the park, having a picnic, making new connections and confiding in good, solid friends. I even went to counseling with my then-pastor which was a HUGE help for me. If you feel you need counseling, try your pastor or some kind of Christian counseling where you’ll get the help you need and also the spiritual aspect too. There’s nothing wrong with that. It helps so much to talk to someone who is a professional but also saved who will listen to you and pray with and for you.
God knows we all need each other. There’s tomorrows to face…and with Him, He’ll make the Light Shine Again.