I have a bad habit and have had it a long, long time and that is I too often compare myself with others. And, I feel bad because I always feel that I come up short. When I was a little girl, I’d look at the other girls in school and all of them, in my mind, were so pretty but not me. I was the tallest person in the class (even taller than the boys), wore largest shoe size, big nose, sad eyes and big boned. I was nothing like them: dainty, delicate and divas. So, my self worth was pretty low. And it didn’t help to be called names like “Pinocchio” and “witch”.
I collected a lot of fashion magazines too (a mistake for any girl), looking at the skinny models and thinking they must look like that all the time and I wanted to do my makeup and hair like them.
Eventually, I grew into myself as I got older and learned to like my attributes but still compared myself to others and never measured up in my mind. I struggled with making right decisions regarding my finances, career, boyfriends and even with my clothes. Other girls may have had advantages that I didn’t have and it made me feel inferior.
No one was there for me to tell me my worth. So I didn’t think I had any. And, I made a boat load of mistakes into adulthood. Some of which I’m still living with today. Nevertheless, through all this self doubt and low self esteem, God saved me in 1987. He began to change me from the inside and it took root on the outside. I didn’t need to feel like I had to be like somebody else to be important.
The Word says we’re all uniquely and wonderfully made and that verse taught me that I was created just as I am for a purpose.
So, when I’m hit with wanting to compare myself as an artist, crafter, woman, wife, sister, friend whatever…I tell myself I am uniquely made in the image of God and He knows what He created me for. He will use my gifts and talents and never reject me nor pressure me to measure up to others.