The heart is the part of the body that controls everything, maybe not necessarily on a physical sense, but certainly an emotional one. When the heart is hurting, every bone in the body hurts. When the heart is happy, every part of the body is happy. It’s important what we put in it, because from it comes the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).
Many years ago, after the death of my first husband, I was hurting so much that I walked away from God and decided to live without Him. I went from one nightmare experience to another, but I blamed The Lord for not healing my husband when I prayed so hard and so long. I was a new Christian then and I couldn’t bear the pain and loss. My heart was torn apart.
It would take about 10 years of loneliness and hard living to finally bring me back to Jesus and to my senses. I remember looking in the mirror thinking I was destroying my life even worse than before I got saved. I dropped to my knees in tears and prayed for the first time in those long 10 years. And, immediately I heard Jesus whisper to me, “you need to give me your pain.” I cried and cried, but when I was done praying that night, I felt like I could go on living another day.
It took time, but I re-dedicated my life back to The Lord. It wasn’t easy and I had some good days and some bad. My heart had to mend slowly. It is amazing to me that when you go through a tramatic experience, the pain you feel inside is just as bad as like breaking your back. It affects every member of our psyche. I had to get to the place of acceptance in my healing. I went to Christian counseling and stayed close to The Lord during that time.
I did finally reach the point where I accepted that my husband was gone to be with The Lord and for that I am grateful. And, I was finally able to embrace that God has a reason for everything whether I understand it or not. I can now remember the great memories we made and it was Jesus that helped me open my heart up once more to love another man, my second hubby, Ken. I was praying one day and I asked The Lord this: “Lord Jesus, why when I was backslidden all those years…why couldn’t I forget you completely?, why couldn’t I stay away and why was I so miserable?” He said: “Because I wrote my words on your heart.”
So the heart can contain good things too.