How do you Un-hurt Someone?

How Do You Un-hurt Someone?

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Sometimes the pain can last a long time when you unknowingly hurt someone. You try to say you’re sorry as best you can and really show the person that you genuinely didn’t mean to hurt them. They say they understand and accept your apology, but somehow it’s not the same between you and them.

They say everything is alright and give you a sort of smile but deep down you can tell they are still hurt. Maybe they’re still processing the situation, maybe they’re not sure if they can trust you again with their feelings. Perhaps they really haven’t forgiven you completely. You’re hurting because you miss your friendship with them and it seems like it will never go back to before.

I had an experience once where some misunderstandings blew up and I was caught in the middle and I felt like it was all my fault. It started by me misreading someone’s reaction. I apologized and asked for forgiveness and they said they were not angry, but others got hurt in the process. And, I was grieving. I don’t like anyone to be hurt and I certainly don’t want to be the cause of it. I was hurting a long time and when I shared this with someone, they said to me that I need to let go of this. At first, I was defensive. But, I had to entertain that thought given the source.

In my case, the situation never reconciled and for a long time I lived with regret and grief. But my friend’s words kept coming to me, “let it go“. I did everything I could do to reconcile and correct the wrong. I was sincerely sorry for my actions but the person I hurt wasn’t willing to accept it. So, I had to move on, but I surely learned a hard lesson that I’ve never forgotten.

Misunderstanding happen. People we love, we hurt sometimes. The ones we’re close to we oftentimes take for granted. Maybe they feel we take advantage of them. Because, we let down our guard more with close friends, they can see the ugliness we try to hide from acquaintances or strangers.

But if or when we hurt someone we like or love, we must be sensitive and quick enough to do all we can to correct it. If they truly are a friend, they’ll understand and all will be well. But if not, time is a great healer and we can always pray that God will intervene and help that person to forgive us. Hold onto the hope that if He wants that friendship or relationship to continue, then He will work on the other person’s heart. Even if it takes a long time or if it hasn’t happened where we’re reconciled yet, still stand on God’s intervention.

And if not, sometimes you have to just trust Him that: (a) He is working on that person’s heart to forgive, or (b) He may not want that person in your inner circle at all or at that particular time. The Lord has removed people from my life altogether and I didn’t know why or understand. God has a reason for everything He does and He doesn’t always explain it. We should continue to pray that God’s Holy Spirit will help us act how He wants us to and to be more sensitive to how we respond to those close to us.

“Lord, I am silent listening for your voice. If I am the cause, forgive me please. Take control over my heart and mind, help me to change for the better what I can and leave alone what I cannot change.” In Jesus’ name, AMEN.

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Kim McDougal

Kim is the founder and creator of Growing Up in Grace. By day, she's the Director of Interactive Communications for the Hispanic chamber located in Jax, FL. Kim also owns "Kim's Studio Art" where she creates and sells Wall Art Printables and "Kim's Handcrafted Cards" on eBay where she creates and sells handmade greeting cards.